After Amanda left, I locked all the doors, turned up the music real loud, danced around, peed with the bathroom door open, ate shrimp marinated in peanut sauce out of a teacup and drank Baileys on the rocks out of a coffee cup and chewed on the ice afterwards wearing nothing but underwear. It was lonely but invigorating. I felt fairly savage, honestly. This house is a mess, but it's on its way to being empty.
I called Rebekah and she said encouraging things to me. Neal was over tonight and we watched Love and Death on Long Island and ate pizza and gelato and he said encouraging things to me. My grandfather brought over awesomely shaped boxes today and he said encouraging things to me. My mother and sister and roommates and friends all say encouraging things to me. This is good.
Because I am feeling slightly terrified.
(We did a test pack of Beatrice today, and... everything fits! Barely. But it fits!)
- Location:schuylkill house - my room
- Mood:
tired - Music:california - phantom planet
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dimethirwen- Bad Wolf
- carmenmachado dot com
Comments
you have many people that encourage you and will check on you.
you'll see: once you're there, it will still be a bit scary but EXCITING ! your new life!
I had forgotten until you just said, but I remember when I was in my early teens and just at an age that everyone else felt comfortable leaving me alone in the house that that was my standard "omg I am really alone in the house" way of proving it to myself.