Last night, I said goodbye. I sat at a table in a bar with my friends, holding Anne on my lap, watching them laugh and talk and gesture, burying my face in her back, trying not to cry.

I've been in DC for four years. This city has shaped me in ways that I cannot possibly begin to describe or number. It has been the place of my education, my joy and happiness, my awakening, my life. The people who I have encountered here - and the people that I have encountered through the people here - mean more to me than words can possibly describe. I love them with every cell in my body. There is certainly no luckier person on the face of the earth.

Last night, I hugged everyone. I hugged them as if the sheer force of my love for all of them would carry them with me.

I think it will.

Jon Lipe kissed my forehead. Amy kissed my hands and cheeks. I grabbed Neal fiercely. "I love you, Neal. Don't you ever forget that."

Katie wrapped her arms around me and I clung to her for over a minute. She then put me at arm's length.

"Carmen," she said. "Remember that time on campus when we sat in the Tavern, and you told me that you were a mess? And I said that you were a beautiful mess?"

"Yes."

"Now, you're just beautiful."




We left the bar. I blew kisses to them as I left shakily, my fingers entwined in Anne's.

As I walked away from the table, my friends began to clap. The benediction carried me like a gentle wave out the door and down the street to my car.

I dropped Sam off at his apartment. "I love you," he said, hugging me tightly.

I didn't say much. I didn't have the words.



I'm leaving tomorrow, very early. Errol and I will be on the road for a long time. I will be updating (hopefully) at every stop every evening. If you're having issues with the website or the Facebook application, contact marnanel.

I love you all very much. I'll see you on the other side.