I'm curious about this one.

What are some things that you would never hear me say?

(I have played this game informally before, and it's usually titled "Signs That Carmen is Not Carmen But Rather a Terminator.")

Friday afternoon, Paul and I drove to Reno. I had never been across California that far north by car. It was utterly gorgeous, especially when a full moon came over the mountains.

We got into Reno late, went and ate at a buffet, and then I gambled a dollar in a Circus Circus slot machine, promptly winning thirty three fifty. Go me!

The next morning, we left Reno and headed into the desert.

After getting a teensy bit lost in Virginia City, we found ourselves at the US/Molossia border, where we were greeted warmly by His Excellency, The President.





We went to customs, where we paid in pocket change and surveyed the rules of Molossia.



A public square in Molossia.



Paul at the border!



( More photos here! )

We were quite sad to leave. It was such an amazing trip! The President was extremely kind and accommodating, the residents friendly (if loud barkers), and the land beautiful. I recommend that everyone make a trip to Molossia.

The Khamsin Molossia News covered our trip here.

After we left Molossia, we went back a different way, and stopped down near the south end of Lake Tahoe, which I have never seen. It was gorgeous.

Also, I've never seen clouds like this before. What are they called? They looked really odd.











It was a long and late drive back, but we got home to a very happy, silly Oliver.

My reply to the President of Molossia:

Greetings to His Excellency!

I cannot express the depth of my gratitude for the honor and privilege of your invitation. It was, indeed, I who wrote that blog entry regarding Molossia. I still remember that night - my roommate Amanda (who had discovered the website to begin with) and I spent many hours reading about Molossia, and then another few hours still plotting our own micronation.

(Incidentally, I informed her of your invitation, and she sends her best regards.)

I would be most honored to come and visit Molossia. September sounds like a wonderful time to visit. How do I go about making arrangements? May I bring someone with me?

One thing: during my visit, I would be tremendously excited if I would be able to play a rousing game of broomball.

I hope this reaches you in good health. My best wishes to you, your family, and your nation. I look forward to your reply.

Best,
Carmen Machado

And his response!

Hello, Carmen!

It is good to hear from you. I wasn’t sure if you were the author of the blog, and considering that is goes back a few years I wasn’t certain that you would recall the blog entry.

I am pleased that you are interested in visiting Molossia, and the honor is all mine. I most certainly encourage you to bring whomever you wish, just let me know how many will be in your party so that I can properly prepare. I am open to any weekend except that of the 12th and 13th; I will be out of the country that weekend. Even Labor Day weekend is fine, as are most Mondays. A visit to Molossia usually only lasts a couple of hours (we are a very small country), so you will probably want to combine your visit here with a stop somewhere else, such as Lake Tahoe and / or Virginia City.

I would be happy to arrange a Broomball Game. Honestly, we haven’t played Broomball in several years, ever since the boys grew out of it. I’ll have to chase down a new ball since the old one died long ago. In addition to that, your visit will include a tour of the nation, including stops at our Customs Shack, Post Office, using our new telephone system, visiting Republic Square, Norton Park, the Molossia Railroad, the Tower of the Winds and the Trans-Molossia Nature Trail (if it’s not too hot). I am planning to have our Space Monument done by then, which will afford you the chance to launch an air rocket and thus become a part of our space program. After the tour, we can relax in Norton Park and enjoy some cookie dough while we chat about Molossia, micronations and whatever else comes up.

Bring your camera, your passport (if you have one), some pocket change for Fred the Customs Guy, a couple of bucks (American) for postcards and a sense of humor. No tobacco, walruses, spinach, catfish or Texans, please.

Let me know what day you’re interested in coming and I’ll make sure we’re ready for you!

Warmest regards,
His Excellency President Kevin Baugh,
Republic of Molossia

I'm going! Squee!

You guys.

You guys. Oh my god.

My long-time readers may remember, back in 2005 (when I was a widdle baby college freshman), I posted about the hilarious and distinguished micronation of Molossia. Amanda discovered the website, and we spent hours pouring over it, laughing and making plans for our own micronation, right there in our dorm room. I remember being impressed by the thoroughness of the site, amused by the quirky eccentricity of the President, and generally excited about the idea of making your own country.

Last night, I was sitting at my computer when an email popped into my inbox. I opened it.

And blinked.

And blinked again.

Subject: An Invitation

Greetings.

Some four-plus years ago, you (at least I think it was you) commented very favorably regarding the Republic of Molossia on your blog. I don’t know how I missed it all these years, but I just noticed the entry this evening. I truly appreciate your kind words. Thus, I would like to invite you to come and visit our nation, located some four hours east of San Francisco, over here within the wilds of Nevada. I will gladly escort you around Molossia and show you the sights; it would be an honor.

If you are so inclined, let me know when you might wish to visit – I recommend September, as July and August can be a bit warm. I hope you will favorably consider my invitation and come see our great nation!

Warmest regards,
His Excellency President Kevin Baugh,
Republic of Molossia

I blinked again.

And then I started shrieking.

"Oh. My god. Oh. My god."

I tried calling Amanda, but it was late on the East Coast and she was already asleep, so I called Katie, and we squealed about it for a bit. I'm currently composing a response. Of course I'm going. It's so close, and so awesome. How could I say no?

If you don't read the blog Cracked, you really should. It's hilarious and ridiculous, occasionally informative and always entertaining. Some recent articles:

6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain

The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses (II Kings 2:23-24 has always been a personal favorite of mine.)

The 6 Deadliest Creatures (That Can Fit In Your Shoe)

Five Things Hollywood Thinks Computers Can Do

6 People Who Just Fucking Disappeared

7 Movies Based on a True Story (That Are Complete Bullshit)

If 'Twilight' Was 10 Times Shorter And 100 Times More Honest

The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered

As a warning, Cracked tends to link to related articles, so you can stay up dangerously late reading ridiculous lists.

WELCOME TO MY DALEK POETRY READING!

THIS ONE IS CALLED DAFFODILS!

EXTERMINATE DAFFODILS!

If you haven't seen Part I of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, you absolutely need to.

I <3 Joss Whedon. And Nathan Fillion.

dustthouart: http://www.metalandmagic.com/modules.php?full=1&set_albumName=oddities&id=piratetampon&op=modload&name=gallery&file=index&include=view_photo.php
dimethirwen: I WOULD BUY THOSE TAMPONS
dustthouart: me too. instead we're stuck with Kotex and so on with its "the best thing for women since the push-up bra" ads
dimethirwen: If anyone ever said "Have a happy period!" to me, I would punch them in the face. No lie.

And for my Scrabble people, a short story:

Death By Scrabble

<3 The Onion

And while we're on the subject...

From The Onion:

Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry

...here.

Here’s how to understand the Creation Museum:

Imagine, if you will, a load of horseshit. And we’re not talking just your average load of horseshit; no, we’re talking colossal load of horsehit. An epic load of horseshit. The kind of load of horseshit that has accreted over decades and has developed its own sort of ecosystem, from the flyblown chunks at the perimeter, down into the heated and decomposing center, generating explosive levels of methane as bacteria feast merrily on vintage, liquified crap. This is a Herculean load of horseshit, friends, the likes of which has not been seen since the days of Augeas.

And you look at it and you say, “Wow, what a load of horseshit.”

Also, I am planning on pulling an all-nighter, and right now I have four servings of coffee in a giant mug.

*bounces*

This is my new favorite icon.

Subject header: If you treat your filly as a goddess, why not become a God in her bedroom?

( Penis problems + the Islamic revolution = ? )

hawthornesangel (12:53:47 AM): anyway, I guess I'll just forward the email to you 'cause I've had just enough rum that I can't reiterate parts of the email with any kind of clarity
hawthornesangel (12:53:58 AM): and I'm not a big 'ol alcoholic, to answer the next question :P
hawthornesangel (12:54:25 AM): what's your email address?
gordoom@mac.com (12:54:32 AM): *laughs out loud*
gordoom@mac.com (12:54:42 AM): You can't see my address staring you in the face? :P
hawthornesangel (12:54:52 AM): Oh God
hawthornesangel (12:54:53 AM): Oh God
hawthornesangel (12:54:54 AM): okay
hawthornesangel (12:54:55 AM): okay
hawthornesangel (12:54:56 AM): I see it
gordoom@mac.com (12:54:53 AM): *laughs out loud*
hawthornesangel (12:55:00 AM): forget I asked that question
hawthornesangel (12:55:06 AM): wow
gordoom@mac.com (12:55:02 AM): *laughs even more*
gordoom@mac.com (12:55:05 AM): *nearly keels over*
hawthornesangel (12:55:10 AM): I might have had more than I thought
gordoom@mac.com (12:55:19 AM): Please excuse Carmen from the Internet tonight - she has the dumb, and the drunk!
hawthornesangel (12:55:28 AM): I swear I'm not drunk
hawthornesangel (12:55:31 AM): I swear it
gordoom@mac.com (12:55:34 AM): Then she has the REALLY FUCKING DUMB!
hawthornesangel (12:55:41 AM): haha

and then, later:

hawthornesangel (1:19:35 AM): ... what did you mean?
gordoom@mac.com (1:20:50 AM): Getting, er, amorous? (I'm teasing!)
hawthornesangel (1:21:11 AM): oh, haha!
hawthornesangel (1:21:14 AM): no, no
hawthornesangel (1:21:21 AM): you'd know if I was
hawthornesangel (1:21:40 AM): when I get like that I flirt with everyone
hawthornesangel (1:21:58 AM): single, taken, gay, straight, men, women, transvestites, politicians, trees...
gordoom@mac.com (1:22:17 AM): *laughs out loud*
gordoom@mac.com (1:22:24 AM): Trees?
gordoom@mac.com (1:22:27 AM): POLITICIANS?!?!
hawthornesangel (1:22:48 AM): "Gosh, are your leaves always this green? They're so nice..." *pets*
hawthornesangel (1:23:16 AM): "Mmm, tell me more about how you're going to ensure fiscal responsibilty when it comes to doling out campaign funds... baby."

This is probably my last update regarding responses to the Arch-Mage of Cyrodiil ad, though I am toying with the idea of posting it on other city's Craigslists and seeing what happens. But for now, I've been emailed enough pictures of penises to last me a lifetime.

"How bout a dumner assasin?"

"Warlock? I don't know what all that means, but I imagine it could be something like:

( he's wrong, incidentally. I'm just looking for a laugh )

It's been a good run. I haven't had this much fun in a long time.

Now I've got to find something else to occupy my time/mind until school starts.

Nuts.

Subject: Warlock with Staff of Domination

Body: Me - professional level 34 Warlock with a Large Staff of Domination and a natural alluring and easy going disposition. The Staff of Domination is enchanted with high stamina. Will be spellcasting in the land of Fairfax about 50% for the rest of the year. Lets meet in the local city center for some mana to talk.

Also...

"that is a nice ad"

"You should get some sort of award for most creative ad"

"Who are you? This is awesome insane."

"Okay. I admit I don't have a clue about any of the subject matter in your ad, so would you be willing to explain and would you be interested even if I am clueless? Because I am intrigued...."