1. Latest movie watched?

Down in the Valley. I've been wanting to see it for a while (entirely because the trailer hooked me) and it finally came from Netflix. It was... pretty good. Really sad, though. I need to watch fewer sad things.

2. In what ways do you find yourself least interesting/most conventional (however you would like to phrase it) and why?

Well, when you look at it, I had a pretty conventional upbringing. I was born to parents in suburban Pennsylvania, was raised in a nuclear family where I fought with my siblings and rebelled against my parents, went to public school, had all of the insecurities that a slightly overweight teenage girl has, went to college, became more liberal while I was at school, graduated, and am now without a full time job with school loans repayments coming in June.

3. How do you make sure you find time to do the things you don't *need* to do, but you need to do? Like... art, poetry, reading novels and things. How has it changed when your major timesucks have been different?

Honestly? I don't have enough time. I keep a little sticky note on my computer of things I need to do more. Like put together that poetry collection. Work on that spoken word stuff I've been kicking around. Work on that book, and those memoirs, and those paintings. And it's really rare that I get to do those things, because I have work and when I'm not working I'm tired or doing things that I *have* to do (and when I was in school, I felt as though I was ALWAYS putting off homework/papers/projects). I'm hoping that the move out West will stir up all of this stuff that I need to do. Hopefully.

4. What scares you?

Money, or more specifically, not having enough money. I'm not the best saver or money manager, and it's bitten me in the ass a few times. I don't talk about it that much on here, but there have been nights where I've stayed awake paralyzed with the fear that I've overdrawn an account or that I'm not going to have enough money to pay rent and contemplating quick fixes, like becoming a high class call girl (a la Sugar in The Crimson Petal and the White) and getting to sleep with politicians.

5. As a lingerie-o-holic, I'd actually be interested in favorite types of underwear. Or latest books read. Those are good too.

Books first. I recently finished The Dark is Rising quintet and am now working on Salt: A World History, which is actually super-fascinating. The book that is currently occupying the open space in my bed is Douglas Adams' Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency / The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul (it's two novels in one book).

Underwear. Hmmm. Well, I'm not a big lingerie fan, but something that looks kind of sexy on me is this adorable pair of black lacy boy short underwear and my black push up bra.

The bra is kind of deadly, actually, because... well, okay, my breasts are already sort of huge, and I didn't mean to purchase a push up bra. It was an accident. But now I have it, and it's damn sexy, so I wear it on special occasions. It gives me... ah... va-VOOM!

Most days, though, I just wear comfortable Hanes Sporty Underwear, Bikini Cut.

6. What fictional characters (literature, theatre, cinema, etc) do you relate most to?

Anne of Green Gables.

No, seriously. Anne Shirley is and has been my #1 character-who-I-identify-with since I was about seven years old. And not even so much the character from the books as much as the character from the movies. The movies are seriously the best thing ever.

Examples here and here.

"You don't know how utterly wretched I am." I have actually uttered that phrase. To Amanda. About sixty-seven times.

7. What do you believe in religion-wise right now?

I haven't really talked about this very much, but I've generally shifted from OMGCHRISTIAN to... nothing. Well, agnostic. I'm not entirely sure that God doesn't exist, but I'm not sure he does, either, and it seems somewhat dishonest of me to assert that he was when I just wasn't sure. I'm open to the idea of a higher being, but I would definitely not identify as Christian, and I haven't done so for about a year.

Which view (political, religious, musical, anything) do you feel most uncertain about right now? Like are you have a crisis over whether Godspeed You Black Emperor is the best band or the best band ever. Or you're doubting the existence of God, or the legality of something, or whatever. Share your unease!

I think I've basically come to the conclusion that while I'm not sure God doesn't exist, I feel dishonest espousing a philosophy that I can't back up 100%. I think it's safe to say that I'm agnostic, at least for the time being. I just wish I knew. I'll probably write all of this into a longer post, at some point. But there's your answer.

What is the most frustrating thing that you cannot do? Do you keep trying? Why or why not?

I can't draw hands, and I really wish that I could, since I love people's hands. I'm always trying... doodling in my notebook, etc., but thus far I've had no success. I'm sure I'll get it eventually. Right now, I just have to be satisfied with using a camera.

What's your earliest memory?

I have this memory of sitting on the front porch, watching my dad rake leaves and smoke a pipe. I couldn't have been much older than four, maybe. I remember the cold of the cement seeping through my pants and it was cold and I could smell pipe tobacco and the leaves crunched and crunched and crunched.

Q: Any chance you'll be coming out to California any time soon?
A: I'd say that the chances are slim, given my financial situation (not to mention the fact that I have no time). But only time will tell.

Q: Would you ever sleep with me?
A: Since you posted this question anonymously, I have no way of answering it. Are you Johnny Depp? If you're Johnny Depp, then the answer is yes. Otherwise, I don't know.

Q: What was your favourite dream you ever had? The most exciting? The most scary? The most memorable?
A: Most of my favorite dreams involve: sex, flying, people that I love, re-enacting scenes from my favorite movies, or, if I'm lucky, a combination of all four. Every so often, I'll have these really freaking amazing, cinematic dreams, that usually involve me and my roommates/friends running from some impending doom. The last one, for example, involved Amanda, Jon, Kelli, Andy, Anne, and I all running from the coming Armageddon by stealing a VW bus. Most of my scary dreams involve losing people that I love, and I usually wake up with tears running down my face. Luckily, I don't have those too often.

Q: What's the most frustrating thing in your life at present?
A: I worry that I'm becoming too anxious, and also a cynic - both things that I don't want be. I wish that stuff would happen that would make me feel like I could never become a cynic, but it's not - hence the frustration.

Q: Have you ever wanted to cry just looking at someone? If so, why?
A: I sometimes want to cry when I look at someone that I love with deep and searing intensity. I sometimes want to cry when I'm looking at someone that I want badly but can't have. And I usually do cry when I see the homeless sleeping on vents downtown.

Q: Would you consider yourself "normal"? Why or why not?
A: I think that I'm kind of a mixed bag, honestly. In some respects, I'm exactly like other people, but there are definitely things that I do that are not normal. Treating what is occurring to me - as it is occurring to me - as an ongoing literary narrative, for example, is not very normal. Making my life into a movie trailer in my head - nope. My intense emotional reactions to life probably fall outside of the normal range. My dancing around my room to music and getting so caught up in it that when my roommates come in to find me I usually have a small heart attack? Not very normal. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

But I still drink wine coolers and wiggle my toes and have sex dreams, and I guess that's kind of normal.